Hometown Hijinx


There’s nothing like seeing one’s hometown in the news, with headlines frothing and the solemn frown of the State’s Attorney General bearing down. Saratoga Springs has known its share of scandal through the years, but tampering with the sacred springs is a new one.

My fraudulent townsfolk have been diluting the local spring water with (*shock & horror*) tap water. Heated tap water. This cocktail is sold as a bath at $25 for a half hour soak. The mineral water is brownish and effervesces naturally. Once you overcome the strangeness of the color, you can relax and enjoy one of the most luxurious and civilized thirty minutes in recent memory. Admittedly I’m biased, but this reporter concurs (I recommend a listen, so that you can hear the water and the sound of indignant local politicos).

All manner of people flock there for the water, and each spring has a reputation for different health effects. I used to take empty bottles and fill them at a particular spring reknowned for its clear and fresh taste. Some even contain trace amounts of radon and lithium, a sure cure to whatever may ail you (the ones containing radon are labeled, have no fear). The majority of the springs are clustered in Saratoga Spa State Park. Go there if you ever get the chance–it’s spectacularly beautiful nature and the summer home of the New York City Ballet and Philadelphia Orchestra.

The posturing and cries for wrongs to be righted is but the state representatives’ way of showing off their plumage for the first time in the spring, eager to court the opinion of a winter-weary populace.

I say that everyone should just take a nice bath and relax.

  1. #1 by flygrrl on March 24, 2007 - 6:08 pm

    Interesting. Spitzer always chose (in my humble opinion) truly important battles as AG; sorry he’s moved on down to such pathetic fish as Governor. Were things getting a little too sleepy in Saratoga to foment such public outrage?

  2. #2 by patita on March 26, 2007 - 9:33 am

    On one hand I can see why it’s a big deal–it’s a huge image thing, and it’s a point of state pride to have the pure waters of Saratoga. In the end though, it’s bath water! I took baths in Saratoga tap water for many yeas and suffered no ill effects. I drank it, cooked with it and kept fish in it. It’s not like we’re talking about storm drain outfall here!

    I’m sure the influx of people buying $300k condos in downtown Saratoga were completely outraged.

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